This was it. The final leg of my journey
was upon me, and I decided to change it up. I came across a woman form
Minnesota heading to the Mohave. She wanted to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, a
monster of a hike spanning something like a thousand miles. It would take her
from the desert, through California, and into Oregon. This was convenient since
I was dying to get home, and she let me tag along. Her name was Cheryl, and she
up and decided to do the trail after stumbling across some information about it
in a book. She was newly divorced, and she made it seem like this was her
opportunity to shed her old life and become anew. I got the impression that she
didn’t really plan on heading back to Minnesota, but unlike many of those I met
during my time on the road, it didn’t feel like she was running from her past.
Rather, it felt like she was rushing toward something different, something
brighter, something better.
I related to Cheryl on a deeper level than
most of the others. She cheated on her husband multiple times which is never
okay, but I sort of empathized with her necessity to be alone. Her mother died
tragically, and she had been trying over and over again to keep her family
together. She fell into drug use. Nothing she was doing could remedy the
situation; she was depressed. When you’re that sad, you can’t function around
other people like you do otherwise, and I think she just needed to take some
time to cope by herself and recognize she wasn’t at fault for any of it.
At the beginning, her pack was huge. It was
kind of hilariously massive, and she struggled just to get it on. It sort of
felt like a metaphor for herself: she was struggling to pick herself back up
after everything that had happened, but she knew she needed to. I was
impressed, especially considering how ridiculously hard the hike was.
SERIOUSLY. I have never been in that much pain before, and I’m broken multiple
bones. Cheryl and I had the wrong type of gas for the stove, we quickly ran out
of provisions, we were lost, everything was falling apart. The only thing that
kept us going was the encouragement and faith of other hikers. If they could do
it, then so could we.
It took weeks of backbreaking hiking, but
we finally made it. We felt disgusting and exhausted, and I offered to let
Cheryl stay with me for a few days before she went wherever she was headed.
After being away from my house for so long, I felt just as foreign in it as
Cheryl did, and it took some time to acclimate myself to my old life again.
Nothing had changed but I did; the road had turned me into someone stronger
than I thought I could be. I met incredible people and saw incredible things
and managed incredible feats. But as much as I had loved it on the road, I
really just needed a nap, and nap I did.
From John Steinbeck:
ReplyDeleteWhen you got home, you said it felt foreign. I remember feeling like that after my different journeys--feeling so, so glad for the comforts of one's own home. I loved Rocinante, and all my time with Charley, but there was nothing like a good home. But at the same time, home wasn't quite home, because something in me changed each trip I took.
Many of the people I've met on the road, they say that they feel happy at home for a few months. But then, after a while, the itch comes back. Do you know the itch I mean? That burning desire to go, to move, to get under way, anyplace, away...some people I know never can return to normal life after the road. And yet, if they set out on another trip, it never quite satisfies them. It seems to me, sometimes, that we Americans live in a constant state of dissatisfaction and restlessness. I suppose it is in our blood.
And good lord, woman. Next time you set out on the road, get yourself a proper truck. Or a dog. Or at the very, very least a decent pair of boots. Preparation is part of the trip itself, don't you know?